we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just found puke in my bra..
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
