Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
