I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
