your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
that's an acceptable place to lick
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
