I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
