i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
