one word: firstdatebathroomanal
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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