The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
