Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
