what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
There are leaves in my underwear?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
