Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
