I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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