Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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