im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
