Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
