Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
It's just like the Real World with babies
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
