Nicole vs. Life
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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