we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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