Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
