let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
