do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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