Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Even my vagina gasped.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
