dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
