If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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