The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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