She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
