Can i not drive my cunt home
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
