Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
