I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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