This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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