so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
