I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
