i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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