It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
