I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
