Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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