Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
