absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
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I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
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TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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