She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My ATM looks so different sober.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
