Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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