I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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