on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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