I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
