I can tuck mytits in my pants
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
