He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
