that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
