Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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