no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
