Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
