We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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