you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
