Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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