So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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