I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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