I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
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We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
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yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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