her vagine was all disorganized.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
