found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
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2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
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Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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