Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize