If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
