he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
