so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize