Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I love having hate sex.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize