Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
