We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
