I think I died a long time ago.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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