wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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